Today my thoughts went on an overdrive. They were deep and loud, blocking out any other sound. The echos in my head almost pushed me over the edge. They poured in by the bubble, but would not say a word to any other. They were stuck, playing on repeat... like the songs on my i pod (today was Run by Snow Patrol, but its soft electro mix).
Today my thoughts had a mind of their own. I had no control over what they explored, and no one to hold, instead sat alone. And even if someone was there, the thoughts in my head had nothing to tell, no words to speak, and could only be heard by me. What I feel lost its sense of belief, the things I saw no longer had the hope of resolve.
Today my thoughts went on and on, they did not stop... not even take a short pause. I do not know what they were trying to exactly say, but they did a good job of dampening my day, more than the rain. There was nothing I could do, nothing I could change, I knew that and it made me want to run away. Far from the land of worries that plague my life and my ways... miles away from all the love lost and the unfortunate hate gained.
Today my thoughts made me mad, mad at myself and mad at my dad. He keeps reassuring me that everything will be okay, but when and how, and I guess at the end of the day, that's his job. But would I ever find a way. Find a solution to the pollution that my brain retains. The way my thoughts are thinking, I feel I have no escape, at least not for today.
Today my thoughts thought about quite a lot. But I have no words to speak, just a few to write, and that is what you see before your eyes in this blog that I try to keep alive.
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