When nothing's enough...

What do you do when nothing's enough, when the road gets rough and love gets tough. What do you do when people leave, decide to dream what are not your dreams. And move on in life to bigger and better things. What do you do when life decieves you, making you think that things you wish for hard enough do really come true. But in time you see that having hope and faith is just another way to escape what is your reality.

What do you do when a relationship fails, and there's nothing you can do to make it prevail. With the fights, the tears and the betrayals, sometimes its just better to let go of eachother. But then, what about the love, that's strong and gone on for so long... it's got to have some meaning, a deep intense feeling that can outlive any kind of beating. Sometimes love is lost, but it can be found again, and can be forever yours even when it seems like never again.

What do you do when your closest friend shuts you out, when they tell you that you no longer count. Do you shout or cry, fight or drive by and try to make kind. If only it were that simple, to work things out, and make amends to what went down sour. If you could bring back the moments and relive the memories of the times gone by, that would be a dream, one that I never seem to see or believe.

What do you do when everything's too much, when unlimited love suffocates your lungs. What do you do when too many people follow your lead, and all you want is for them to leave. So you can reach greater things, without sharing a piece of the pie with the million and one leeches of your life. People will try with their sneaky little lies, but its up to you how you want to survive. 

Can you survive when there's too much of it all or will you fall when you lose it all? And then once again wish for it all to come back, trying your hardest, for it only to give you one fat slap back. When nothing's enough and everything's too much, embrace life, love and happiness for times to turn up.

My Lost World

Find me, touch me... I feel all alone. It's not a moment, or a passing phase, it feels forever long and cold. My smile has lost its charm, my heart its love... my feet their dance and my song its verse. My speech has lost its voice, my dreams their noise. My feelings have lost their hopes; my faith's no longer keeping me afloat.

I am living in a lost world where no one comes or goes. Even when I am surrounded by people, I feel like I've lost everyone that I ever considered close. I've lost my mind, I've lost my time, I've lost my need to be forever kind. My eyes no longer see, my heartbeats make no sound, my fingers no longer touch and I feel like my feet don't reach the ground.

My emotions have lost their feeling, my memory its meaning... my wine its flavour and my creativity its fervour. My writing has lost its words, my money its worth.... my imagination has run dry and my eyes do not cry. My stories have lost their endings, my truth its defending, my wings their flight and my tries their might.

It's a lost world; it's my lost world... where all that's lost and gone is seeking its return, but slowly.

Thoughts that think, words that don't speak

Today my thoughts went on an overdrive. They were deep and loud, blocking out any other sound. The echos in my head almost pushed me over the edge. They poured in by the bubble, but would not say a word to any other. They were stuck, playing on repeat... like the songs on my i pod (today was Run by Snow Patrol, but its soft electro mix).

Today my thoughts had a mind of their own. I had no control over what they explored, and no one to hold, instead sat alone. And even if someone was there, the thoughts in my head had nothing to tell, no words to speak, and could only be heard by me. What I feel lost its sense of belief, the things I saw no longer had the hope of resolve.

Today my thoughts went on and on, they did not stop... not even take a short pause. I do not know what they were trying to exactly say, but they did a good job of dampening my day, more than the rain. There was nothing I could do, nothing I could change, I knew that and it made me want to run away. Far from the land of worries that plague my life and my ways... miles away from all the love lost and the unfortunate hate gained.

Today my thoughts made me mad, mad at myself and mad at my dad. He keeps reassuring me that everything will be okay, but when and how, and I guess at the end of the day, that's his job. But would I ever find a way. Find a solution to the pollution that my brain retains. The way my thoughts are thinking, I feel I have no escape, at least not for today.

Today my thoughts thought about quite a lot. But I have no words to speak, just a few to write, and that is what you see before your eyes in this blog that I try to keep alive.